Suffer in silence
by ChibiChiii
Summary: Merlin is struggling with his growing affections for Arthur, but it can never be. The laws of Camelot forbid it. But what happens when Arthur get's upset over Guinevere's betrayal and comes to Merlin for comfort? Rated M for upcomming chapters!


"Suffer in silence" Slash Merlin Arthur (Canon) M

Catagory: Slash (Canon)  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur mentioning of Gwen  
Warnings/Ratings: This is a slash fiction, implying a sexual relationship between the characters Merlin and Arthur. If you don't like this kind of thing I would not advice to read any further.  
M rated for future chapters.  
Summary: Merlin is struggling with his growing affections for Arthur, but it can never be. The laws of Camelot forbid it. But what happens when Arthur get's upset over Guinevere's betrayal and comes to Merlin for comfort?

The suffering begins...

Merlin watched the prince suffer as he reached his verdict, sending Guinevere away from Camelot. His heart broken and battered, defeat showing in his total being...

Merlin didn't understand, Gwen had always been so loyal, she loved Arthur so deeply. But Arthur had given her until sun set to leave Camelot and to never return or she would pay with her life.

Merlin had tried to talk to Arthur, tried to make him see sense! If Merlin were to give his beloved away than at least it had to be to Gwen. She was one of his best friends, Merlin knew she would take good care of him. At least he believed she would.

Even when Gwen had noticed the affection from Merlin growing towards the man she loved, she had not judged him. Instead she had welcomed him with understanding and kind words.

It had been so hard when he first found out, the urge to protect the prince was no longer from fighting for his destiny. When Arthur was shot by the arrow and on the verge of death, Merlin had no longer wished to live on. Without Arthur his life made little sense to him.

It had been Guinevere that had helped him through these dark times, kept him hoping, and stood by his side. He remembered the first time they had met, in the stocks; when he was in there for challenging Arthur. She was the first one who had called him brave instead of stupid.

Now there she was dragging the wooden cart behind her, outside of the gates, out of his life...out of Arthur's life. How much he just wanted to stop her, tell her things would be alright that he would take care of her. But not even that he was allowed; the banishment verdict forbid anyone to talk to her after she was banished. 'How lonely she must feel' not even her brother Elyan was allowed to say goodbye to his sister.

Merlin paced angrily through the corridors of the castle, this could not be happening. Guinevere was destined to become the queen of Camelot. How could she be banished? How was Merlin supposed to make Arthur the greatest king after everything was going wrong!? First Uther died from his magic, Lancelot becoming Morgana's shade, now Gwen betraying Arthur. Why was everything going wrong?

Had he not done everything he could to keep Arthur safe? Even denying himself any kind of emotional comfort, when he was on the verge of breaking down himself. Arthur couldn't know, he can never find out. Surely he would send Merlin away if he would realize how Merlin truly felt about him. That it had become so much more than just following a prophecy of a destiny. He would gladly give up his life for Arthur, he was his friend, he was the man he loved more than any other person on this world...

As Merlin entered the king's bedroom ready to speak up, ready to give Arthur a piece of his mind; he fell silent. There he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head buried in his hands. Grieving over the losses he had suffered in the last couple of days. His father, his friend, now his fiancée.

Merlin silently walked over to the bed and sat down next to Arthur not saying a word. Now was not the time to shout at his shattered soul, Arthur needed him now more than ever. But what could he do to ease this suffering?

No magic spell could fix this, or could it? Merlin considered the possibility of using his magic to help Arthur. Perhaps if he would use a spell to make him forget Guinevere...no he could never do that to Guinevere, perhaps they would get back together. Make him forget the betrayal? Than the counsel will remember him of it...No matter how he searched he could not find a way to ease the pain on Arthur. "I'm so sorry, Arthur" he whispered sounding defeated.

"It's not your fault, Merlin" Arthur answered trying to be strong. As they both sat and suffered in silence over the loss of a lover and a friend.


End file.
